listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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