it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
