garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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