I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I hope mine doesn't look like that
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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