Sponge bath it is.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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