I wanna bring you to show and tell
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
