No awkward lesbian experiences without me
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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