I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Text me some of your sweat
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
