Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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