tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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