just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
