Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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