My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
