she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
