i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
