Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
