I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
