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• (914): View more from New York

  I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.

  (917): View more from New York City

  why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours

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• (801): View more from Utah

  I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me

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• (631): View more from New York

  he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  ... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.

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