I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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