Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
