You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Randomize
