she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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