my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Shame - the story of my life.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
