my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
