I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
did i just pee glitter
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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