You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
