Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
