I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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