bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
