i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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