What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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