two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
