yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
