I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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