Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
