I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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