u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
