Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize