I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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