Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
The best revenge is premature balding
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
