I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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