i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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