Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
