just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
