i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
