i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
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I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
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I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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