He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize