i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
