why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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