Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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