He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
