i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
