Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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