Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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