Umm I'm too high to move.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
