why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
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Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm always down for nudity.
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