I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
