dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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