id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
