The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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