You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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