how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
