mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
