mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize