What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
